 An Englishman in New York: Bill Bailey
November 19, 2002
I have just finished an interview with John McMullen on Sirius Radio, a satellite
station. Intelligent and interesting chat - about how America is perceived
in Europe, and how we both have stereotype images of both sides of the Atlantic.
I said that there is a lot of ignorance in Europe about Americans, who are
widely caricatured as loud, intolerant, rude, demanding etc. and I joked
that here Brits are portrayed as plummy-voiced aristocratic, batty eccentric,
uptight - "I say, Mama are the crumpets ready? I'll be in the orchard tormenting
the servants" kind of tip. I find the opposite to be true, almost without
exception, the Americans I have met are extremely polite, unassuming with
impeccable manners and a desire to understand other points of view. Mind
you, I have only been here in New York…
When I arrived into JFK three weeks ago, the customs guys laughed at all
the keyboards, guitars etc I had. They said, "All this for a comedy show?
That's funny already"..which was a good start. I arrived at the apartment,
stepped out on to the balcony into a blast of cold air, the roar of the traffic,
the relentless honking of horns, the day-for-night glow from Times Square,
and I got that rush of excitement that always accompanies the return to New
York. Went to bed about midnight.
Woken at 1 am by the garbage truck, then again at 6 am. New York is starting
to get on my nerves already. Deafening metallic cacophony, sounds like someones
dropping cannonballs into a skip from a 14th story window.
The theatre is on W 47th St, just off the main drag. I like the location,
it's near enough to Broadway to attract an audience of casual browsers, but
on 8th avenue for a bit of sleaze and credibility.
Went to a taping of The Late Show with David Letterman.
An old friend of mine is the warm-up comic. Hung about backstage..then got
hustled into a little room when Dave went past - no one can see him apparently.
Like King Midas. Or Meatloaf. Fair enough. The guests were a bit duff - Shania
Twain and a racing driver I hadn't heard of. He wittered on about number
of races, point system, or some dull old bollocks - Dave looked bored. Shania
was unintentionally hilarious..she said "I've worked a lot in the bush…"
cue much sniggering in the audience..came across as a bit prissy, dim and
vain and her song was just bloody awful. The band all had ripped t-shirts,
silly hair and wore hats indoors. They looked the kind of pretendy band you
see in films playing at a fashion show party.
The set was amazing,
I didn't realise it but the New York skyline behind Dave is an incredibly
intricate model, complete with tiny little lights. There is a blue spot on
the studio floor where the guest comics stand to do their schtick…maybe one
day eh?
Went to see the musical Urinetown.
It's great, funny...it's about a town where a corporation charges people
for urination it's also a brilliant parody of all corny Broadway musicals
… It is, wait I've thought of something, this is great.. It's the Musical
that Takes the Piss! Great eh?
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