Lyrics to "Beautiful Ladies" (a Chris de Burgh parody) by Bill Bailey.

Beautiful ladies in danger, danger all round the world,
I will protect them, because I am Chris de Burgh

Beautiful ladies in emergency situations

Beautiful ladies are lovely, but sometimes they don't take care,
They're too busy with their makeup, or combing their lovely hair

To take basic safety precautions

But I will protect them, I will save the pretty ones,
With their smiles and their sparkling eyes

But let the ugly ones die
I have no place for them, in my new world order

I won't waste my seed on hideous trolls.
Kill, kill, kill, kill, kill the trolls,
Hunt them down there shall be no clemency

Kill, kill, kill, kill, kill the trolls,
Look under the bridges - that's where they hide
(that's where they hide)

And beauty shall be my bride.